Rudolph remembered Isadora all night. He remembered the kiss, played it back in his mind so many times that he swore he could feel a faint pressure on his lips. He ached to hold her in his arms, and now he had made it a little too late. He knew though, that he could get her back.
I could find her, of course. But now that Quin and her...well. I owe it to her to find her, after leaving her for so long. I'll find her. Bring her back. And then...
Rudolph swore and bit his fist till he tasted blood. He was incredibly frustrated. Heartsick. Confused. Sad. Angry, too. Not at her. He could never be angry at Isadora. He didn't feel his anger stemmed from Quin either, for who could resist Isadora?
Then it had to be Alisen he was loathing. She who had brought this upon him. She who had reminded him of his feelings for a girl he had been too long without.
The worst part is... I think I would have fallen for Alisen in another week or so. I think I already have fallen for me. I don't like her right now. She wasn't right in what she did. But all the same I feel sort of...happy when I think of her and how she likes me. I fell a sort of lightheadedness when she's near to me and I can feel her warmth...
Woah woah woah... Must concentrate on finding Isadora. Although...Quin can do that, I'm sure. I'm positive he is worried sick about her and wishes nothing more then to be reunited with her.
STOP! Stop being like this! I love Isadora! I have to remember this...
Oh, my head hurts, this is all so maddening.
Rudolph slept fitfully that night, becoming tangled in his sheets as his mind became more and more ensnared in his thoughts. The last one he had, one that rang out clear and sharp in his mind before he drifted off in a cocoon of weariness was:
If I have to remember to love someone...then do I truly love them...?